Monday, 7 November 2016

Six Ways to Drive a Norwegian up the Wall

Norwegians are really reserved and usually they do not show their negative emotions. However, there are several ways to make a Norwegian purple in the face.

Six Ways to Drive a Norwegian up the Wall

 ALWAYS COME LATE 

I think, only Germans care about being punctual more than the Scandinavians. Showing up late for any event more formal than a family dinner is a serious insult. And do not come too early as well, otherwise you will be granted with the host’s work. 

BUILD SOMETHING IN THE BACKYARD

The Norwegians believe that direct access to nature is an integral human right. For example, wherever you are in Norway, if you look in the right direction, you will see a forest. Even if no one goes there, the mere fact of its existence is important.

Six Ways to Drive a Norwegian up the Wall

That is the reason why Norwegian roads tend to take several kilometers-long detours around a forest on the way to the nearest village of no more than 50 people. Interestingly, skyscraper construction in Oslo has been impossible for several years because it might obscure a view of the woods.

 DO NOT SHOW COMPASSION TOO A HIGH COST OF LIVING 

All Norwegians agree that life in the country is expensive. For example, the price of a liter of gas is $2.60. Prices on meat, alcohol, and tobacco are lower in neighboring countries. Old Norwegian tradition is to drive to Sweden several times a year to buy almost everything at lower cost.

Six Ways to Drive a Norwegian up the Wall

From time to time, someone tries to point out that the incomes in Norway are high as well. Do not be that someone, the Norwegians will not appreciate it!

MAKE AN EYE-CONTACT 

You will soon discover that in all public places, including trains and buses, people stare in a slightly different direction. That happens because the Norwegians try to avoid eye contact. A stranger making eye contact with a Norwegian will be considered as a thread – and be treated accordingly. Sometimes it leads to surreal situations when new passengers in an overcrowded bus have to play with their mobile phones as all possible trajectories of indirect stares are already occupied.

Six Ways to Drive a Norwegian up the Wall

There is another particular rule about public transport: do not sit next to a complete stranger when there are other seats available. If you see unoccupied seats in public transport – go and sit there! But if you have to sit next to a stranger, never, never start talking to them!

SUGGEST THAT NORWEGIANS ARE NOT THE ONLY NATION THAT CAN HANDLE THE COLD 

Nobody knows how to handle cold weather like the people from Norway! They even ski to work if they have to. Every year they come through four months of polar night, ice and low temperatures. Do not even dare to mention Gulf Stream that makes Norwegian winters quite soft or Siberia where it is considerably colder in that time of year!

SUGGEST THAT SWEDEN IS BETTER 

Six Ways to Drive a Norwegian up the Wall

The same with Denmark or Finland. But Sweden is the winner. The Norwegians consider that they are better in everything than the Swedes: social welfare system, sport, life-style. If you doubt these assumptions – be prepared for a fierce reaction.


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